Is This The End?

Well our social media class is coming to an end.  I sit here wondering how I can put the whole experience into words, but tears keep welling up inside of my eyes.  I just can't believe it's already over.  What am I going to do with myself?!  I have no idea how I will fill up my time.

Just kidding, i'll probably just go buy one of these:

And then I'll probably lay around eating these:

But in reality, I probably won't do either right now because my internet is so extremely slow that I wouldn't be able to enjoy any of the awesome things that I would want to do online with a Playstation 4.  

So maybe I'll still get the Funyuns, but check out my internet speed:

Basically at this speed it takes like 7 hours to load a GIF.  It's completely unacceptable.

The real reason i'm talking about my internet speed is because I want to talk about my internet provider and why their company needs to seriously work on their image if they're going to keep getting away with this.

The company that provides my internet is called beeline digital and this is their website:

The first thing you notice at the top is a low quality image of a guy with his disfigured hand in his mouth.  It looks like clip-art that you might find on a computer from 1992.  Next, you see that big chunk of scribbled colored lines covering up half the text under question 9?  That's just the way it is, the site looks like total crap.  I've seen under developed children create higher quality web sites.  On the upside, I pay only 28 dollars a month.  The downside is, the internet is randomly fast and most often extremely slow.  They only have two employees, and I think one died like 3 months ago... so we're just left to fend for ourselves.  I don't even think I can cancel the recurring monthly payments.  I don't even know if they have a phone number to call!!!

What are my suggestions?

-Pay a guy from India $10 bucks an hour to create a website that doesn't look like it was created by a Nigerian scam artist.

-Figure out how to give me a reliable connection higher than .48 Mbps

-Stop making me angry!

Think about it, the best way to mess with someone's life these days is to give them a crappy internet connection.  Yeah sure, most companies now are too big to fail, but sorry beeline digital... you have 1 employee left, he lives at sunshine terrace and probably suffers from dementia.  

Long story short, I'm sitting here waiting for the mail man to bring me some kind of special internet offer.  I've seen the people stringing up the fiber-optic lines down 600 south, I know I'm going to have options pretty soon.  What is my current internet provider doing to stay competitive?  Nothing that I'm aware of.

I am almost positive that some day in my life time, internet will be free for everyone.  It's going to be like trying to charge for radio... well I guess that's actually gaining traction, but you see my point.  High speed internet is going to be blasting all over the planet soon, and these crazy little companies need to put together a game plan if they want to survive.

Well that's all the required posts for the class.  I have cried all the tears I can cry, but it's time to say goodbye.  After looking at all the blogs, this blog and Tom Goldhardt's blog are definitely the best blogs in the class, and possibly the best in the history of bloggerdom.  Extra Credit PLEASE!

Here is a song that sums up my feelings about my social media class ending:

And while drying your tears, listen to the techno version.

Dealerships. How Much Cash Have You Thrown in the Trash?

Have you ever purchased a car or motorcycle from a dealership?

If you say yes, you have been ripped off.

This weekend I contacted a dealership about a motorcycle similar to the one pictured above.

Dealerships get away with charging over blue book value and customers continue to be tricked into thinking they are getting a good deal.

I wanted to purchase a 2001 Suzuki Bandit 1200 from a dealership this weekend but they were asking 1000 dollars over blue book value.  How do they get away with this?  

The reason they get away with this is because people think that dealerships care about them.  People think that when you buy from a dealership, you don't have to worry.  In reality, when you buy from a dealership, you are throwing away cash.  You are basically paying at least 20% over what the vehicle is worth, and throwing that cash in the toilet.

What happens when you buy a brand new vehicle?

Well, if you buy a 2014 model vehicle, go home and list it for sale, you will instantly lose at least a few thousand dollars depending on how much you paid.  Is it worth it?

Every day, someone goes to a dealership and pays 24,000 for a brand new prius that gets around 50 mpg.  What they don't realize is that they can go buy an early 2000's corolla and get 35-40 mpg, and pay about 21,000 dollars less.  Unless they drive a million miles per year, there is no way to justify spending what dealerships ask for new vehicles.

To make a long story short, dealerships are full of con artists who will do and say anything to make you believe they care about you.  This is why I think it's a great business to get into.  I can go buy cars at auction for $3000 dollars and sell them to you for $7000 because you don't know anything about cars.

Edit:

Just to make sure you see how this relates to marketing, I am trying to demonstrate the fact that dealerships have a certain image, much like certain brands.  For the most part, people feel that they can trust a dealership because they get warranties and all the bells and whistles.  Or the dealership "certifies" their pre-owned vehicles.  Much like paying a premium for Nike brand shoes, many people pay a premium for cars.  The only difference with dealerships is the fact that you can get the exact same car from a private seller for thousands cheaper.

Free, Is That Where The Money Is?

Hey everyone, my brain is totally fried.  I was relocating snow today from 1:00 am until 3:00 pm and only slept for 45 minute on the couch.  Moving snow around while it's still snowing is probably one of the least satisfying jobs I've ever done.  You move the snow for like 4 hours... and by the time you finish, you have to do it all over again.  It's insanity.  So anyway, enough about my personal problems, lets talk about marketing.

What is this?

It's my wireless router, but could it also be a potential opportunity for a new kind of business?  What if internet providers started setting up free WiFi hot spots and then started advertising to the people who access them?  When people look at the available networks, they might see "JIMMY JOHNS FREE ACCESS", or something like that.  Also, once connected, there could be advertisements based on each individuals particular internet activities and usage.  Would it work?  Or is free internet becoming too widespread to try to tap into this now?  The answer is, I have no idea and I think i'm starting to hallucinate.




Hey, speaking of being tired, it's probably only a matter of time before people start tapping into our brains while we sleep and playing commercials in our dreams.  I hope that doesn't happen.

What's this?

It's my PRO-FORM elliptical!

 Has your significant other been begging you for one of these?  Has he or she been talking about how they will be able to work out all winter long in the comfort of their own home? Have they told you that they don't like running because of the people who stare and the harm it does to their knees?

Well you can rent this one for $25 dollars.  Now, what is the point of renting an elliptical you ask?  I will tell you.  As soon as you bring it home, your significant other will be extremely happy and it will make their day.  They will use it once, and then it will start being used as a coat hanger.  That's when you return it to me!  Let me know if you're interested. ($10 dollar fee for delivery)



I just made you read an advertisement, how does that make you feel?


Time for a new subject.  Let's talk about ethics.  With all this talk about social media and how one customer can completely wreak havoc on a companies stock price, it makes the unethical bandit inside of me wonder about things.  What if someone organized a large group of people and started mounting large organized attacks on companies through social media?  We see people getting paid to write positive reviews... are people being paid to write negative reviews?  Are people getting paid to fabricate horrible stories about certain companies to sabotage them?  What if there was a powerful organization like this that started blackmailing companies and demanding cash payments for protection?  Basically a social media mafia.  This might be important to think about, because if one person can tell the truth about a company and make the stock price tank... what could 236 people with fabricated stories do?

Well that's all for tonight. I'm going to bed.  But first I'm going to go use my OralB Professional Care 3000 toothbrush to whiten my teeth. It's the toothbrush that many dentists recommend.



(Note to Phillips: I will change that to Sonicare for a one time payment of $500 dollars.)  





-Kraig